Just a moment alone

On the weekends, I sometimes find myself craving a moment alone.  Amid the enclosing chaos and the calling of the candlelight, I sometimes feel the need to hide away.  But – I have a 10 year old son and a husband.  Sometimes it’s hard to get a moment alone.

Yesterday I bought some new books on drawing flowers and people.  I wanted to sit, for half an hour or so, with a cup of cocoa and my new books, and my old pencils, in the fading daylight and sketch.  The minute my butt his the couch, in comes my darling son to use the computer. I heard myself saying, ‘You know what?  I’d really just like to have some time to myself.’  I was stunned.  Stunned.  Mothers aren’t meant to need time to themselves, are they?  Aren’t they meant to be available for all things, at all times?

‘Cool,’ came the eloquent reply.  And off he we to play with his Pokemon cards or Lego.  Or watch TV.  When the light had completely gone and I could no longer read the diagrams on the page I went to find him.  He’d tucked himself up in my bed, and was watching a Harry potter DVD (his father was watching the soccer in the living room).  I got under the covers and watched with him for half an hour until it was his bedtime.  He was happy.  I was happy.

Teaching your children that you have needs outside of their own is important.  It teaches them not only patience, but consideration of others.  As I’m typing this my son is calling out for me to go and see something he’s made.  I said ‘I’ll be there in a minute!’.  I think I should’ve just recorded that on tape when he was born.